My Wife Always Asks Me Why I

I Don't Want To Get Involved In The Culture War. Religion's Iffy.

I'm A Guy Who Comes From A Small Town In The Midwest. It's Not In My Nature To Say The Most Explicit Things In Public.

On Myspace ... The Whole Demographic Of The Stand-up Comedy Fan Has Changed. It's Like An Indie Band Thing. People Think They've Discovered You.

Babies, They Learn How To Walk And They Are Already Trying To Run Away. You Can't Reach The Doorknob, You Only Know Us, Think It Through.

Bacon Is Like The Opposite Of Medicine. It's Like, "take That, Lipitor."