My Stockbroker Asked Me Something Important Today:

The Key To A Long And Healthy Marriage Is That, Honestly, There's Nothing Worth Fighting About.

President Bush's Campaign Is Now Attacking John Kerry For Throwing Away Some Of His Medals To Protest The Vietnam War. Bush Did Not Have Any Medals To Throw Away, But In His Defense He Did Have All His Services Records Thrown Out.

Vice President Joe Biden Said Today That 'syria Must Be Held Accountable.' Unfortunately, The Obama Administration Has Never Employed An Accountant, So They Have No Idea How To Do That.

The Sacramento Bee Is Reporting That Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Not Going To Run For Governor. You Know What Would Be Better? Arnold Should Do What He Does In The Terminator Movies. He Should Go Back In Time And Prevent Gray Davis From Ever Being Born. That Way You Wouldn't Have The Problem.

Hillary Clinton Said She Hopes America Is Ready For A Woman In The Oval Office. That Was The Great Thing About Her Husband Bill: He Was Always Ready For A Woman In The Oval Office.