My Son Wasn't Gay. No Way.

If You'd See My Schedule, You'd Know I Have No Time To Slow Down.

You Give Loyalty, You'll Get It Back. You Give Love, You’ll Get It Back.

I Was Glad To See Italy Win. All The Guys On The Team Were Italians.

The Gym Teacher's Name Was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso Did Not Speak English. He Spoke 'gym.' One Day I Was Playing Basketball And Mr. Caruso Told Me I Would Have To Get An Athletic Supporter. He Didn't Express Himself Exactly That Way, Though. He Said, 'hey, You, One Day You're Gonna Go Up For A Rebound And The Family Jewels Aren't Gonna Go With Ya.' I Had No Idea What He Was Talking About. Next Day I Showed Up For Practice Without My Watch And My Mezuzah. He Said, 'did Ya Take Care Of The Family Jewels?' I Said, 'i Left 'em In My Locker.' Took Us A Half Hour To Revive Mr. Caruso.

Listen, If You Start Worrying About The People In The Stands, Before Too Long You're Up In The Stands With Them.