Guys Ask Me, Don't I Get Burned

When You Say You're A Padre, People Ask When Did You Become A Parent. When You Say You're A Cardinal, They Tell You To Work Hard Because The Next Step Is Pope. But When You Say You're A Dodger, Everybody Knows You're In The Major Leagues.

If You'd See My Schedule, You'd Know I Have No Time To Slow Down.

No Matter How Good You Are, You're Going To Lose One-third Of Your Games. No Matter How Bad You Are You're Going To Win One-third Of Your Games. It's The Other Third That Makes The Difference.

I've Been Catholic All My Life, And There's One Thing I've Never Understood. Why Didn't The Corinthians Write Back?

The Only Angels In Los Angeles Are In Heaven, And They're Looking Down On The Dodgers.