My Most Serious Character Flaw Is That

Yes, We Praise Women Over 40 For A Multitude Of Reasons. Unfortunately, It's Not Reciprocal. For Every Stunning, Smart, Well-coiffed, Hot Woman Over 40, There Is A Bald, Paunchy Relic In Yellow Pants Making A Fool Of Himself With Some 22-year Old Waitress. Ladies, I Apologize. For All Those Men Who Say, "why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?", Here's An Update For You. Nowadays 80% Of Women Are Against Marriage. Why? Because Women Realize It's Not Worth Buying An Entire Pig Just To Get A Little Sausage!

American Closets Are Filled With Once-worn Clothes That Got A Bad Review From A Friend On Their First Appearance.

Have You Noticed That They Put Advertisements In With Your Bills Now? Like Bills Aren't Distasteful Enough, They Have To Stuff Junk Mail In There With Them. I Get Back At Them. I Put Garbage In With My Check When I Mail It In. Coffee Grinds, Banana Peels...i Write, "could You Throw This Away For Me?"

Numbers Tend To Give The Impression That There's More Order In The World Than There Is.

All Men Are Not Created Equal But Should Be Treated As Though They Were Under The Law.