My Life Changed When I Was Able

A Lot Of People Believe That If Everybody Just Did What They Were Told - Obeyed - Everything Would Be Fine. But That's Not What Life Is All About. That's Not Real. It's Never Going To Happen.

Everybody Doesn't Have To Get Every Joke. People Really Appreciate Not Being Condescended To.

I'm Better Than Dirt. Well, Most Kinds Of Dirt, Not That Fancy Store-bought Dirt... I Can't Compete With That Stuff.

Vampires Are Make-believe, Like Elves, Gremlins, And Eskimos.

Your Cable Television Is Experiencing Difficulties. Please Do Not Panic. Resist The Temptation To Read Or Talk To Loved Ones. Do Not Attempt Sexual Relations, As Years Of Tv Radiation Have Left Your Genitals Withered And Useless.