My Iq Is Somewhere Between Spiro Agnew's

I Haven't Ever Found Any Great Writing On That Wonderful And Often Unappreciated Art Form, The Insult.

I Have A Feeling That About 90% Of My Life Has Been Shaped By My Voice, Both As An Embarrassment And As An Advantage. There Was Always The Terrible Incongruity Of This Deep Voice Barreling Out Of This Little Body. Somewhere In The Back Of My Mind I Was Aware That It Was Ludicrous, That It Took On An Importance That Wasn't Really There.

I Have Never Been Converted To Or Even Had Much Interest In Spiritualism, Occultism, Swedenborgianism Or Any Particular Religion. And I Never, Except Occasionally For A Laugh, Visit The Quacks Who Call Themselves Psychics.

The Greatest Benefit Of Depression Is The Fact That When I Have Talked About It, Every So Often Someone Comes Up And Says, You Saved My Dad's Life.

Years Have Passed Since I Have Set Foot In A Comedy Club. If The Comic Is Doing Badly It's Painful, And If The Comic Is Doing Brilliantly, It's Extremely Painful.