My Husband Is Almost As Heavy As

Everything On This Earth Right Now Is About Labor And Slavery. War Is The Only American Export Left That Anyone Wants To Buy.

I'm Never Going To Get Married Again. Three Strikes, You're Out. I Think If I Would Try To Get Married Again In California, I Have To Go To Prison, Don't I? I Think You Only Get Three.

Humanity Is A Failed Experiment, But I Think I'm God And I'd Like To Start Over. I Don't Want To Die, I Just Want Everyone Else To. I Certainly Would Not Be Lonely. It Would Be Exciting Never Having To Listen To Another Person Again But Just My Own Self Droning On And On. That's Why I Write A Blog. And I Read It, Too.

You Know What, When I Was Thin, I Thought There Was A Fat Girl Trying To Get Out Of Me.

I Got, Like, Diane Keaton's Manager, And She Was Very Connected; She Had Power. And She Was Like, "your Star Is In Tears On This Comedy. Do You Even Notice That At All?"