My Hope Is That Gays Will Be

I'm Not Upset About My Divorce. I'm Only Upset That I'm Not A Widow.

Birth Control That Really Works - Every Night Before We Go To Bed We Spend An Hour With Our Kids.

Ever Since I Was A Girl, I Have Written About One To Five Pages Every Day - On Napkins, On Scrap Paper, In Notebooks And Tablets, On The Walls In My Room As A Teenager, And In Orange Paint On The Cheap White Plastic Blinds In My Room.

You Know What, When I Was Thin, I Thought There Was A Fat Girl Trying To Get Out Of Me.

I Always Felt That It Was Easier To Take A Funny Person And Teach Them To Write Television Than To Take Somebody Who Was A Television Writer And Make Them Funny.