My Hobbies Are Run-on Sentences.

When I'm Up There, And I Know The Show's Coming To A Close, In My Head I'm Saying To Myself, Oh Man, You Gotta Get Off And Be A Normal Person Again. That's What I Don't Like So Much.

Now That I'm A Parent, I Understand Why My Father Was In A Bad Mood A Lot.

Back To School, To Prove To Dad That I'm Not A Fool.

I'm Pretty Hot, Right? Very Hot, If I May Say So Myself. Don't You Feel The Sex I'm Radiating?

I'm Not Great At Bedtime Stories. Bedtime Stories Are Supposed To Put The Kid To Sleep. My Kid Gets Riled Up And Then My Wife Has To Come In And Go, 'all Right! Get Out Of The Room.'