My Heart Is Empty & My Life

It Used To Happen In Villages And Towns In China That They Would Have - I Guess You'd Call Them Beauty Contests - Where All Of The Women Of A Particular Village Or Town Would Be Seated Behind These Screens Or Curtains With Only Their Feet Showing.

He Was In My Hair, My Eyes, My Fingers, My Heart. I Day-dreamed About What He Was Doing, Thinking, Seeing, Smelling, Feeling. I Could Not Eat For Thoughts Of Him.

If It Is Perfectly Acceptable For A Widow To Disfigure Herself Or Commit Suicide To Save Face For Her Husband's Family, Why Should A Mother Not Be Moved To Extreme Action By The Loss Of A Child Or Children? We Are Their Caretakers. We Love Them. We Nurse Them When They Are Sick. . . But No Woman Should Live Longer Than Her Children. It Is Against The Law Of Nature. If She Does, Why Wouldn't She Wish To Leap From A Cliff, Hang From A Branch, Or Swallow Lye?

How Can We Not Create A Fantasy In Our Minds When The Reality Is So Hard?

My Love For Him Had Never Gone Away But Only Changed, Growing Deeper Like Wine Fermenting Or Pickles Curing. It Bore Into Me With The Pervasiveness Of Water Working Its Way To The Center Of A Mountain.