My Friend Says Touche Way Too Much.

If You Can't Tell A Spoon From A Ladle, Then You're Fat!

If You Want To Feel Less Sexy Put Scotch Tape On Your Nipples.

I Got Into Stand Up Just To Do Stand Up Because I Love Stand Up.

I Was A Good Student When I Was A Kid, And I Did Everything I Was Supposed To Do, And I Got A's.

I Am A Man. And I Am Former Baby And A Future Skeleton, And I Am A Distant Future Pile Of Dust.