My Fake Plants Died Because I Did

I Got Two Stools, In Case I Want To Sit Down And Sit Down Again On Something Else.

I Would Like It If Four People Did A Cartwheel All At Once... So I Can Make A Cart.

I’d Like To See A Forklift Lift A Crate Of Forks. It’d Be So Damn Literal! You Are Using That Machine To It’s Exact Purpose!

I Ordered A Club Sandwich, But I'm Not Even A Member. "i Like My Sandwiches With Three Pieces Of Bread." "well, So Do I!" "then Let's Form A Club." "ok, But We Need Some More Stipulations. Instead Of Cutting The Sandwich Once, Let's Cut It Again. Yes, Four Triangles, Arranged In A Circle, And In The Middle We Will Dump Chips." "how Do You Feel About Frilly Toothpicks?" "i'm For 'em!" "well, This Club Is Formed."

Has Anyone Seen Me On Letterman? Two Million People Watch That Show And I Don't Know Where They Are. You Might Have Seen This Next Comedian On The Late Show, But I Think More People Have Seen Me At The Store. That Should Be My Introduction. "you Might Have Seen This Next Comedian At The Store," And People Would Say "hell Yes I Have!"