My Act Is Sort Of Improvisational. I

I Also Like A Great Caesar Salad With Anchovies, Although I Don't Know Why Some Places Say 'with Anchovies.' If You're Making A Proper Caesar Salad, It's Going To Have Anchovies.

I Was Diagnosed A Number Of Years Ago With Obsessive-compulsive Disorder - Which Everyone Has, To Some Degree - And I Have This Really Annoying Trait Where In Conversation, I Always Steer It Back To Something That Happened To Me.

I Love Key Lime Pie, Although It's Never Made The Proper Way.

When A Woman Extends Her Hand For You To Shake It, Then You Shake Her Hand. You Do Not Turn It Up And Kiss It. And It Is Just So Creepy. Because, You Know, I Handed It At This Angle. I Handed It At The Handshake Angle And So I'm Not Giving It To You To Do Whatever You Want With It. I'm Not Loaning It To You. It's Like If Somebody Borrowed Your Lawnmower And You're Assuming They're Going To Use It To Mow Their Lawn. You Don't Want To Find Out Later They Put It In The Ocean!

I Was The Youngest In My Family. When The Other Kids Went To School, My Mother Would Make Them Breakfast And Then She Would Go Back To Bed For An Hour, So I Was Sort Of Babysat By Television.