My Ability To Turn Good News Into

Even When I Was At 'snl,' I Didn't Do Impersonations. I Always Wanted To Be The Kind Of Person Who Could Do Them - I Always Thought They Were The Coolest Thing On The Show - But I Didn't Have Any Experience.

I Never Dreamed I Would Receive The Mark Twain Prize For American Humor, Mostly Because My Style Is So Typically Austrian.

I Guess What I Would Tell Women Is To Get Their Education First, Before Having Kids. That Way They Can Keep Their Options Open Down The Road. I Also Think That It Shouldn't Necessarily Be An Issue Just For Women, That Men Should Be Part Of The Stay-home Discussion Too.

I Never Get To Go To Movies, Because I'm A Mom.

In Response To The Escalating Violence In Iraq, President Bush Is Delaying The Return Home Of 25,000 Troops And Will Actually Add Reinforcements To The South. Then In A Symbolic Gesture He Pulled Down The Mission Accomplished Banner, Put On A Flight Suit, Walked Backwards To A Jet Fighter And Flew It In Reverse Off An Aircraft Carrier.