Most Of My Work Is Done Before

I Want Every Day To Be The Most Boring News Day Ever. I Want Every Day To Be About Spelling Bee Champions And Baby Basketball. It's Better To Have No Comedy Material Than A Horrific News Day.

After College, I Knew I Wanted To Work In Comedy, So The First Thing I Did Was Go To Where The Comedy Was. I Moved From Charlottesville To Chicago, Because That's Where The Second City And Improv Olympics Are. You Have To Go Wherever You Need To Go To Study What Interests You.

(my Proudest Moment As A Child Was The Time I Beat My Uncle Pierre At Scrabble With The Seven-letter Word Farting.)

I Think For Women Especially, You Need To Have A Plan. I Need To Have Some Other Ways To Generate Income, So I Don't Have To Stretch My Face Or Lift The Top Of My Head With Surgery Or Something.

No Other Formula Gives Your Baby A Better Start In Life Except That Stuff That Comes Out Of You For Free.