Most Of My Teachers When I Grew

Aren't You Scared Your Kid's Getting Kidnapped...right Now?

You Should Really Treat Stand-up Like You Would A Play. It's A One-man Play.

Yes, I'm Married. But My Wife Understands That A Good Politician Has To Be Appealing To The Ladies. The Fact That I Haven't Even Gotten Close To Cheating On Her Is A Disappointment To Us Both.

I've Never Done Online Dating.

This Is One Of My Favorite Pick Up Strategies: I'm Constantly Giving Women My Keys. So Far, None Of Them Have Shown Up. Matter Of Time. And I've Been Robbed Twice.