Monogamous Musicians Are Like Vegan Hockey Players.

Singing What's In Your Heart? Naming The Things You Love And Loathe? You Can Get Hurt That Way. Hell, You Will Get Hurt That Way. But You'll Get Hurt Trying To Hide Away In All That Silence And Leave Your Life Unsung. There's No Future Without Tears. Are You Really Setting Your Hopes On Not Getting Hurt At All? You Think That's An Option? You Clearly Aren't Listening To Enough Morrissey Songs.

On 'idol,' Steven Tyler Will Be Sitting At A Table With Two Other Judges, And Part Of His Job Will Be Keeping His Yap Zipped While They Talk. This Makes No Sense At All, Since Tyler Has Zero Yap-zipping Skills.

It Was Like Trying To Break Up With The Color Orange, Or Wednesday, Or Silent E. It Was The Most Passionate And Tumultuous Relationship I'd Ever Known.

Falling In Love With Renee Was Not The Kind Of Thing You Walk Away From In One Piece. I Had No Chance. She Put A Hitch In My Git-a-long.

I Was Totally Clueless About Social Interaction, And Completely Scared Of Girls. All I Knew Was That Music Was Going To Make Girls Fall In Love With Me.