Girls Take Up A Lot Of Room.

'american Horror' Goes For A Very Specific Kind Of Seventies Suburban Downer Ambience - 'flowers In The Attic' Paperbacks, Black Sabbath Album Covers And Late-night Flicks Like 'let's Scare Jessica To Death.' It Even Has 'go Ask Alice'-era Urban Legends.

In The Old Days, When A Star Left A Still-thriving Hit Show, They'd Celebrate By Killing Him Or Her Off. But 'the Office' Dispatched Michael Scott In A Crueler And More Final Way: They Made Him Normal. Since We're Talking About Michael Scott, 'normal' Might Be Stretching It, Obviously.

I Didn't Know What I Was. I Didn't Have A Noun.

I Was The Only Kid At Camp Don Bosco Who Would Admit He Was An Alter Boy Back Home, So I Served Two Masses A Day All Summer. But I Loved The Cassock And Surplice, Ringing The Bells, Lighting The Candles - It Was Like Being A Glamrock Roadie For God.

One Nice Thing About Growing Up Catholic Is It Makes You Open-minded About Other People's Religions, Since Ours Is Nuttier Than Yours.