Mom Thinks I Live In This Dream

To This Day I Do Not Believe I'm Great At Anything.

Love In The Real World Means Saying You're Sorry 10 Times A Day.

They Don't Call Me Spontaneous And Irreverant For Nothing.

[on Regis Philbin:] He's Like Everybody's Kid Brother With His Hand In The Cookie Jar And His Foot In His Mouth. You Love Him, But You Can't Take Him Anywhere.

Today We Live In A Cash-for-trash World. Anyone Can Stand Up And Say Anything Unkind, Unfair Or Completely Untrue About You, And Then They Are Rewarded Financially For It ... Because Life Is Unfair.