Mmm, Tastes Like Hepatitis!

Junior Colleges Are High Schools With Ashtrays.

My Mom Was On Welfare And The Occasional Food Stamp, But I Have Never Participated In Any Of Those Governmental Programs, Even The Ones That Kind Of Work Like Education, Scholarships And Whatever, And I Managed To Do Just Fine.

There's No Bigger Atheist Than Me. Well, I Take That Back. I'm A Cancer Screening Away From Going Agnostic And A Biopsy Away From Full-fledged Christian.

I'm Not Sexist, I'm Just A Realist.

No, I Had Not Read Any Other Comedian's Book. Not That I Don't Enjoy Other Comedians; I'm Just Not A Reader.