Mmm, Tastes Like Hepatitis!

Everything Seems Overwhelming When You Stand Back And Look At The Totality Of It. I Build A Lot Of Stuff And It Would All Seem Impossible If I Didn't Break It Down Piece By Piece, Stage By Stage. The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself Is Some Drive--that Thing Inside Of You That Gets You Out The Door To The Gym, Job Interviews, And Dates. The Believe-in-yourself Adage Is Grossly Overrated.

You Shouldn't Be Eating Anything That Takes Six Minutes To Microwave.

I'd Be At Someone's House Or Be Up On The Roof All Day And I'd Get Lonely - Stir Crazy - And Talk Radio Became This Soothing Voice In My Life. But The Idea That I Was Making $10 An Hour And Stacking Drywall While These Guys Were Making A Few Hundred Thousand, And They Were Having A Party, And There Were Playmates And There Were Good Times, I Just Couldn't Imagine It.

I Am Semi-ambivalent About Being On Camera - Sort Of Low-key. I Don't Like Being On Camera Stuff That Much. I Like Radio And Live Performing Stuff. I Don't Like The Television Stuff As Much. Some People Do. It Takes A Certain Breed Of Cat. There Is A Ton Of Pressure And You Need To Read Cue Cards. I Am Not A Good Cue Card Reader. Being A Poor Reader Was Enough To Make Me Not Want To Do That Type Of Formatted Show.

I'm A Comedian, Not A Politician.