Misery Is Wasted On The Miserable.

Gay Men Have To Go Through Something To Own Their - Who They Are. They Get Beat Up. They Get Ostracized. Whatever They Go Through, If They Survive It, They Come Out Very Confident People.

I'm Not Sure Why I'm So Often Disgusting On Stage. I Don't Always Know Where It Comes From.

[about Being A Father] I Don't Really Remember What It Was Like Before. Whatever I Had Going On, It Was Bullshit. It Wasn't Important. It's Kind Of A Nice Thing About Being A Dad. My Identity Is Really About Them Now, And What I Can Do For Them, So It Sort Of Takes The Pressure Off Of Your Own Life. What Am I Going To Do, Who Am I? Who Cares, You've Got To Get Your Kids To School. So I Like It That Way.

I'm Not A Political Comedian. That's Just Not What I Do.

I Know I'm Getting Old Because There Will Be Times When I'm Not Even Doing Anything And I'll Think, 'i Need To Go Wipe My Ass Right Now.'