Minnesotans Really Think They Run The Whole

I'm Still Working! I Think Of All The Other Comics That Didn't Get The Light Shined On Them, Just Because It's Just How Fame Works, And It's Unfortunate. But There Are So Many Great Comics Out There Who Are Still Working, And I Still See Them.

I'm A Big Game Show Fan. When You're A Poor Person, You Watch Game Shows. I Don't Think People Realize That. Maybe Everybody Watches Game Shows, But When You're Poor, You Live Vicariously Through Those People.

My Mom Ate Every Piece Of Butter In The Midwest, She Lived Till She Was 90. And My Dad, He Smoked, He Drank - We Finally Just Had To Kill Him.

It Might Be One Thing To Think About Putting On A Dress, But When You're Actually Putting On A Dress, It's A Weird Thing, Because You're Going, "huh. I'm Putting On A Dress. Do I Leave My Underwear On? Do I Get Some Other Underwear? Is There Something Special I Should Wear?" All That Dumb Stuff. I'd Never Had Any Interest In Putting On My Mom's Clothes, Except To Think, "well, They Are Nice Clothes..."

I'm A 7 O'clock Act. My People Want To Go To A Show, A Dinner And Then Go Home And Go To Bed.