Men Always Fall For Frigid Women Because

Your Audience Gives You Everything You Need. They Tell You. There Is No Director Who Can Direct You Like An Audience.

I Come Out Before An Audience And Maybe My House Burned Down An Hour Ago, Maybe My Husband Stayed Out All Night, But I Stand There. ... I Got Them With Me, Right There In My Hand And Comfortable. That's My Job, To Make Them Comfortable, Because If They Wanted To Be Nervous They Could Have Stayed Home And Added Up Their Bills.

Love Is Like A Card Trick. After You Know How It Works, It's No Fun Any More.

For Ten Thousand Dollars, I'd Endorse An Opium Pipe.

I'm A Bagel On A Plate Full Of Onion Rolls!