Meadowlark Lemon Is One Very Clever Man,

It's Confusing. I've Had So Many Wives And So Many Children I Don't Know Which House To Go To First On Christmas.

Had I Been Brighter, The Ladies Been Gentler, The Scotch Been Weaker, Had The Gods Been Kinder, Had The Dice Been Hotter, This Could Have Been A One-sentence Story: Once Upon A Time I Lived Happily Ever After.

Clark Gable Once Said To Me, "'acting School?' [if You Go,] I'll Kill Ya!"

I'm The Only Man In The World With A Marriage Licence Made Out To Whom It May Concern.

John Frances, Entertainment Chair, Of The Friars Club: Of All The Roasts That I Have Produced For The Friars Club, This Is The One That I Am Most Excited About. Mickey Is One Of The Club's Dearest Friends, And We Wanted To Honor Him In The Way We Know Best.