Maybe It's Weird, But I Don't Feel

The Very Definition Of 'beauty' Is Outside.

I Saw A Commercial For The Maxi Pads For The Bigger Gals They're Making Now. That Was A Nice Visual While I Was Eating.

In My Early 20s I Was So Miserable Doing Construction, I Wanted Something That Paid Money. I Liked Nice Stuff. I Liked Cars And Architecture, And Things That Cost Money. I Wanted To Not Swing A Hammer, And Make Money… And Not Do Stuff That Was Dirty. I Attempted To Get Into Comedy. I Started To Do Stand-up, But I Wasn’t Very Good At It.

If You're A Guy, You Have Absolutely No Idea What's Going On At Any Time In The Relationship, Ever. Here's What You Know: You Know When You're Getting Laid, And You Know When It's All Over. Those Are The Only Two Things You're Aware Of.

I Swear My Car Won't Run Unless I'm Picking My Nose: At Least, I'm That Superstitious About It, So I Don't Want To Take Any Chances.