Marriage Is The Only Thing That Affords

An Optimist Is Merely An Ex-pessimist With His Pockets Full Of Money, His Digestion In Good Condition, And His Wife In The Country.

Some Women Can Be Fooled All Of The Time, And All Women Can Be Fooled Some Of The Time, But The Same Woman Can't Be Fooled By The Same Man In The Same Way More Than Half Of The Time.

There Are People Whose Watch Stops At A Certain Hour And Who Remain Permanently At That Age.

Woman: The Peg On Which The Wit Hangs His Jest, The Preacher His Text, The Cynic His Grouch And The Sinner His Justification.

A Woman's Flattery May Inflate A Man's Head A Little; But Her Criticism Goes Straight To His Heart, And Contracts It So That It Can Never Again Hold Quite As Much Love For Her.