Marriage Has No Guarantees. If That's What

A Friend Never Defends A Husband Who Gets His Wife An Electric Skillet For Her Birthday.

A Child Develops Individuality Long Before He Develops Taste.

God Created Man, But I Could Do Better.

If I Raised My Hand To Wipe The Hair Out Of My Children's Eyes, They'd Flinch And Call Their Attorney.

Enter My First Neighbor - A Woman Who Spoke In Complete, Coherent Sentences, Who Ate With A Knife And Fork And Who Only Cried At Weddings. I Couldn't Help Myself. In A Dramatic Gesture, I Bolted The Door And Threw My Body Across It To Prevent Her Exit. She Understood.