Making A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow.

Hey Yogurt, If You're So Cultured, How Come I Never See You At The Opera?

I Gut Check My Show. I Say, I Say, "gut, Gut, Does That Feel True To You?" And Gut Says, "yes It Does, Stephen. Let's Get A Grilled Cheese Sandwich."

Usually When Donald Trump Wants To Keep Someone Out Of Military Service, He Just Fakes A Doctor's Note Saying He Has A Foot Injury. It Worked Fine For Him During Vietnam.

Thanksgiving Is A Magical Time Of Year When Families Across The Country Join Together To Raise America's Obesity Statistics. Personally, I Love Thanksgiving Traditions: Watching Football, Making Pumpkin Pie, And Saying The Magic Phrase That Sends Your Aunt Storming Out Of The Dining Room To Sit In Her Car.

If Germans Are Happy It Means Everyone Else Is Miserable.