Magicians Disappear All The Time, But As

I Saw A Lady On Tv, She Was Born Without Arms. That's Sad, But Then They Said, "lola Does Not Know The Meaning Of The Word 'can't'." That, To Me, Is Even Worse In A Way. Not Only Is She Missing Arms, But She Doesn't Understand Simple Contractions. It's Easy, Lola - You Just Take Two Words, Put Them Together, Take Out The Middle Letters, Put In A Comma, And You Raise It Up!

I Had A Box Of Ritz Crackers, And On The Back Of The Box, They Had All These Suggestions For What To Put On Top Of The Ritz. Try It With Cheese. Try It With Peanut Butter. Come On, Man, They're Crackers, That's Why I Got Them. I Like Crackers! I Didn't Buy Them Because They're Little Edible Plates!

All These Jokes Have Been Pre-approved As Funny By Me.

If I Was A Mechanic And Someone Called Me And Said Their Car Would Not Start, I Would Say, "hey - Maybe A Killer Is After You!"

I Would Imagine The Inside Of A Bottle Of Cleaning Fluid Is Really Clean. I Would Imagine A Vodka Bottle Is Really Drunk.