Mac Gave Me 55 Lipsticks To Test.

The Pope Is Guarded By The Swiss Guard Who Stand Proudly In Pajamas And Silly Hats.

You Can't Land On The Moon And Say, "ooh, It's All Sticky! It's Covered In Jam!

Puberty Is The Sickest Joke God Plays On Us. So You're Just Noticing Members Of The Sex: "girls Girls, Ooo". Naturally You Want To Look Your Best, And God Says "no! You Will Look The Worst You've Ever Looked In Your Life!"

I Appreciate Your Applause, But I Don't Do It For Applause. I Do It For Cash, It's Much Better.

I Try To Keep Performing As Much As Possible - I Just Like To. I Used To Take Huge Gaps Off Between Gigs, Now I Just Like To Do Stand-up Gigs As Much As I Can.