Local Television Shows Do Not, In General,

I'm Sure That Being Sober All These Years Accounts For My Ill Humor.

In A Print Interview, As You May Or May Not Know, They [editors] Can Do Whatever They Want. And They Do. This Is Why Most People Are More Hesitant To Do Print, Because They Can Change It, And They Do Change It. They Even Change Things That Are In Quotation Marks, Which Is A Pet Peeve Of Mine. I've Said To Numerous Reporters, "would You Read Me Back My Direct Quotes?" And They Always Say No. They Always Say That's Against The Policy.

It's Very Important Who The President Of The United States Is. America Is A Great Idea, So That's Why It's A Great Country.

I Write So Slowly, I Could Write With My Own Blood And Not Hurt Myself.

Do Not, On A Rainy Day, Ask Your Child What He Feels Like Doing, Because I Assure You That What He Feels Like Doing, You Won't Feel Like Watching.