Like, My House Has A Nice View,

I Need A Woman To Have A Quirky Sense Of Humor. There's A Bunch Of Jokes I Use, And If She Doesn't Get Them, She's Probably Not For Me.

The Thing That I'm Most Proud Of In My Life Is That If A Stranger Came Up To Me And Said, 'i Can't Stop Drinking. I Can't Stop Drinking. Can You Help Me?' I Can Say, 'yes, I Can Help You.'

To Be A Comedian, You Have To Have Some Darkness Behind It. I Certainly Draw On My Past, And It Helps.

I Would Like You All To Give Me A Round Of Applause As I Have Not Crashed My Car In Over 15 Months.

I Used To Be A Real Prince Charming If I Went On A Date With A Girl. But Then I'd Get To Where I Was Likely To Have A Stroke From The Stress Of Keeping Up My Act. I've Since Learned The Key To A Good Date Is To Pay Attention On Her.