Life's A Pudding Full Of Plums.

When Everyone Is Somebody, Then No One's Anybody.

Bind Up Their Wounds - But Look The Other Way.

I've An Irritating Chuckle, I've A Celebrated Sneer, I've An Entertaining Snigger, I've A Fascinating Leer; To Everybody's Prejudice I Know A Thing Or Two; I Can Tell A Woman's Age In Half A Minute--and I Do

Strike The Concertina's Melancholy String! Blow The Spirit-stirring Harp Like Any Thing! Let The Piano's Martial Blast Rouse The Echoes Of The Past

If The Jests That You Crack Have An Orthodox Smack, You May Get A Bland Smile From These Sages; But Should It, By Chance, Be Imported From France, Half-a-crown Is Stopped Out Of Your Wages!