Let's Have Some Wine, Go Upstairs, And

Now All Of Us Can Talk To The Nsa -- Just By Dialing Any Number.

I Pulled A Hamstring During The New York City Marathon. An Hour Into The Race, I Jumped Off The Couch.

There Just Isn't Enough Televised Chess

We Thought New York City Was Home To 8 Million Rats. Turns Out, That's A Little High. The Actual Number Is 2 Million Rats. That Explains The Light Turnout For The Midterm Elections.

Thanksgiving Is The Day When You Turn To Another Family Member And Say, 'how Long Has Mom Been Drinking Like This?' My Mom, After Six Bloody Marys Looks At The Turkey And Goes, 'here, Kitty, Kitty.'