There Just Isn't Enough Televised Chess

Today Would Have Been The Birthday Of Osama Bin Laden. It Makes Me Remember When Seal Team 6 Threw Him A Surprise Party.

When I Stopped Smoking Cigars It Was The Biggest Mistake I Made In My Life. So My Resolution For 98 Is Im Going To Start Smoking Cigars Again. I Gave Them Up About A Year And A Half Ago, And I Now Realize That It May Have Been My One Last Fun, Interesting Thing To Do.

My Retirement Plan Was In Place But Bernie Maidoff With My Money.

My Good Friend Paul Shaffer And I Are Going To Continue In Show Business. Next Month Paul And I Will Debut Our New Act At Caesar's Palace With Our White Tigers.

Instead Of Reading Vows At The Wedding Ceremony, They Read Hacked Sony Emails.