Let Me Tell You About Gays In

I Got This Big Fear Of Doing Smoking Jokes In My Act And Showing Up Five Years From Now Goin' [puts Mic To His Neck And Speaks As If He Had A Mechanical Larynx] 'good Evening Everybody, Remember Me, Smoking's Bad. [puts Cigarette To Neck And Mimics Smoking It] Eeww. You Ever Seen Somebody Do That? I've Seen Someone Do That. Let Me Tell You Something — If You're Smoking Out Of A Hole In Your Neck [mimics It Again] I'd Think About Quitting. And That's Just Me, Ya Know.

I Do Not Believe Making Money In Order To Consume Goods Is Mankind's Sole Purpose On This Planet.

I Was Just Down In Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's Really Accurate, You Know, 'cause Oswald's Not In It.

Pornography Is Any Act That Has No Artistic Merit And Causes Sexual Thoughts...sounds Like Almost Every Commercial On Tv To Me.

Is It My Business If Somebody Wants To Burn A Flag?...no, It's Not...that's Called Logic And It'll Help Us All Evolve.