Learn To Spot And Avoid "writer Groupies."

There's Something Unrefined About A Reading Woman, They Always Reek Of The Lamp. How Can She Grow Up To Be A Lady If She's Always Got Her Nose In A Book? Granny Rudin

Recently While Browsing In A Secondhand Bookstore I Bought A Paperback Copy Of The Intellectual And The City, But I Was Unable To Read It. When I Got Home I Discovered That The Original Owner Had Highlighted The Entire Book - Literally. Every Line On Every Page Had Been Drawn Through With A Bright Green Magic Marker. It Was A Terrifying Example Of A Mind That Had Lost All Power Of Discrimination.

American Couples Have Gone To Such Lengths To Avoid The Interference Of In-laws That They Have To Pay Marriage Counselors To Interfere Between Them.

When You Go Apartment-hunting In The South, You Encounter Little Old Ladies Who Ask You If You Use Strong Drink. In New York You Encounter Paranoids Who Wonder If You Will Commit Suicide--not That They Care; What They Worry About Is Blood On Their Fresh Paint, A Dubious Smell In The Hallway, Or A Hole In The Awning As You Pass Through On Your Way To The Sidewalk. The Southerner Who Moves To Any Part Of The Country Has Problems, But The Culture Shock That Attacks The Southerner Who Moves North Is Almost Indescribable.

Writers Who Have Nothing To Say Always Strain For Metaphors To Say It In.