In Mississippi The Important Thing Is Hooch,

It Takes Only One Child To Raze A Village.

When You Go Apartment-hunting In The South, You Encounter Little Old Ladies Who Ask You If You Use Strong Drink. In New York You Encounter Paranoids Who Wonder If You Will Commit Suicide--not That They Care; What They Worry About Is Blood On Their Fresh Paint, A Dubious Smell In The Hallway, Or A Hole In The Awning As You Pass Through On Your Way To The Sidewalk. The Southerner Who Moves To Any Part Of The Country Has Problems, But The Culture Shock That Attacks The Southerner Who Moves North Is Almost Indescribable.

In Other Countries, Congenital Introverts Simply Remain Introverts All Their Lives, Neither Advancing Nor Retreating, But America's Commitment To Extroversion As A National Art Form Can Abrade Some Naturally Aloof Personalities Until They Flower Into Deadly Nightshade.

There's Something Unrefined About A Reading Woman, They Always Reek Of The Lamp. How Can She Grow Up To Be A Lady If She's Always Got Her Nose In A Book? Granny Rudin

No Matter Which Sex I Went To Bed With, I Never Smoked On The Street