In Mississippi The Important Thing Is Hooch,

Of All The Old Maid's Blessing, The Greatest Is Carte Blanche. Spinsterhood Is Powerful; Once A Woman Is Called "that Crazy Old Maid" She Can Get Away With Anything.

A Home Without A Grandmother Is Like An Egg Without Salt.

My Object Is To Live In A Place That Does Not Call Itself 'the Community With A Heart.' I Want One Of Those Godforsaken Towns Where All The Young People Leave And The Rest Sit On The Porch With A Rifle Across Their Knees.

Insecurity Breeds Treachery: If You Are Kind To People Who Hate Themselves, They Will Hate You As Well.

Owning Your Own Home Is America's Unique Recipe For Avoiding Revolution And Promoting Pseudo-equality At The Same Time. To Keep Citizens Puttering In Their Yards Instead Of Sputtering On The Barricades, The Government Has Gladly Deprived Itself Of Billions In Tax Revenues By Letting Home Owners Deduct Mortgage Interest Payments.