Last Halloween I Ran Out Of Candy

John Mccain Turned 72 Years Old Last Friday, But The Chinese Are Making Him A Birth Certificate That Says He's Only 33 And Then He'll Be Ready To Go.

The New Cia Torture Report Is 6 Million Pages Long. It's Almost As Long As A George Clooney Pre-nup.

Here's Why Sarah Palin Says She Won't Be Running For President. She Says She Can Be More Effective At Getting Others Elected By Not Running. And I Thought, Well, That's True, Because In 2008 She Got Obama Elected.

I Have Talents Aplenty. Unfortunately, Precious Few Of Them Have Any Redeeming Social Value.

United Airlines: Passengers Are Our Worst Enemy. We're Not Too Fond Of Luggage Either.