Land Of Opportunity, Land For The Huddled

Men Often Compete With One Another Until The Day They Die. Comradeship Consists Of Rubbing Shoulders Jocularly With A Competitor.

If A Person Sings Quietly To Himself On The Street People Smile With Approval; But If He Talks It's Not Alright; They Think He's Crazy. The Singer Is Presumed To Be Happy And The Talker Unhappy.

Men Greet Each Other With A Sock On The Arm, Women With A Hug, And The Hug Wears Better In The Long Run.

Man Is Different From Animals In That He Speculates, A High-risk Activity.

We New Yorkers See More Death And Violence Than Most Soldiers Do, Grow A Thick Chitin On Our Backs, Grimace Like A Rat And Learn To Do A Disappearing Act. Long Ago We Outgrew The Need To Be Blowhards About Our Masculinity; We Leave That To The Alaskans And Texans, Who Have More Time For It.