Kathy Bates Is Sexy. It's Partly Because

That's Why I'm Glad Jesus Died When He Did. Because If He Lived To Be 40, He Would Have Ended Up Like Elvis. He Was Famous Already At That Point. If He Lived To Be 40, He'd Be Walking Around Jerusalem With A Big Fat Beer Gut And Black Side Burns Going, Damn, I'm The Son Of God. Give Me A Cheeseburger And French Fries Right Now.

The Best Pitch I Ever Heard About Cocaine Was Back In The Early Eighties When A Street Dealer Followed Me Down The Sidewalk Going: I Got Some Great Blow Man. I Got The Stuff That Killed Belushi.

Firefighters Are Some Of The Most Selfless Public Servants You Will Ever Encounter.

Sin Is In, And So We Begin.

Crisis Doesn't Create Character; It Reveals It.