Just Because It's A Bad Job Doesn't

Humility Was A Cult In My Family. I Only Got It Out Of My Father By Accident When He Was Very Old That He Had Won An Olympic Gold Medal.

[...] And As I Walked, I Tried To See The Funny Side. It Wasn't Easy, And I'm Still Not Sure That I Managed It Properly, But It's Just Something I Like To Do When Things Aren't Going Well. Because What Does It Mean, To Say That Things Aren't Going Well? Compared To What? You Can Say: Compared To How Things Were Going A Couple Of Hours Ago, Or A Couple Of Years Ago. But That's Not The Point. If Two Cars Are Speeding Towards A Brick Wall With No Brakes, And One Car Hits The Wall Moments Before The Other, You Can't Spend Those Moments Saying That The Second Car Is Much Better Off Than The First.

People Assume That I'm Very Highly Trained, That I Studied And Did Years And Years Of Shakespeare. I Have No Training Whatsoever And I've Only Done One Shakespeare Play At University. If People Want To Believe That, I'm Happy To Go Along With It.

People Are Falling All Over Themselves To Send You Free Shoes And Free Cufflinks And Colonic Irrigations For Two. Nobody Ever Offers You A Free Acceptance Speech. There Just Seems To Be A Gap In The Market. I Would Love To Be Able To Pull Out A Speech By Dolce & Gabbana.

I Feel Like I'm Working On An Oil Rig Right Now. I'm Away From Home A Lot.