Just A Small-scale Cult Of Personality, Maybe

Do Not Listen To The Killjoys Who Tell You Never To Eat Oysters In Months That Do Not Contain The Letter R: May, June, July, August, Octoba. You Know.

I Actually Own A Copy Of My Own Book; That's How Dedicated I Am As An Author.

I Know Electric Knives Are Excellent For Carving Turkeys That Have Had Their Bones Removed And Been Forced Into A Mold To Shape Them. Please Note That Those Turkeys Are Called Hams.

What I Collect? Interesting Jobs. Always To My Thrill And Excitement, But Ultimately To My Exhaustion, I Collect Interesting Jobs. If An Interesting Job Comes Along, I Take It; That's Why I Do So Many Things. I'm Lucky To Be Able To.

The Few People Who Ask To Have Their Photographs With Me, I Almost Always Say Yes, Except For A Few Circumstances, Like When My Family Is Around.