My Fame Is Due To Broadcast Television.

One Can Always Come Up With Funny Lists And Jokes. You Know What? I Take It Back. Not Everyone Can Always Come Up With Funny Lists And Some Jokes. I'm Very Lucky To Have A Gift Where I Can Do That Pretty Ably.

When A Good Friend Gives You His Or Her Book, You Don't Want To Read It, Because You're Afraid That It's Not Going Be What You Hope It Can Be.

John Wilkes Booth And Lee Harvey Oswald Meet In Hell And Team Up To Assassinate Satan.

Part Of The Transaction Between Writer And Reader Is The Pleasure Of Building A Community And Encouraging People To Play Along.

I Am Not Beautiful, So I Don't Know Why I'm Making Myself Ugly. But The Mustache Stays.