Joan Rivers, Who Said To Marcel Marceau,

King Henry Viii, Who Said To His Lawyer, Forget The Alimony, I've Got A Better Idea. Never Got A Dinner!

George Washington, Who Said To His Father, Dad, If I Never Tell I Lie, How Am I Ever Gonna Become President? Never Got A Dinner!

Steven Spielberg's Mother, Who Said To E.t., I Don't Care Where You're From, You're Here And You're Gonna Get Bar Mitzvahed! Never Got A Dinner!

Rip Van Winkle, Who Said, Don't Make The Bed; I'm Just Going To The Bathroom. Never Got A Dinner!

Sure, I've Gotten Old. I've Had Two Bypass Surgeries, A Hip Replacement, New Knees... I've Fought Prostate Cancer And Diabetes. I'm Half Blind, Can't Hear Anything Quieter Than A Jet Engine, And Take 40 Different Medications That Make Me Dizzy, Winded, And Subject To Blackouts. I Have Bouts With Dementia, Poor Circulation, Hardly Feel My Hands Or Feet Anymore, Can't Remember If I'm 85 Or 92, But... Thank God, I Still Have My Florida Driver's License!