Jeez Banana! Shut Your Freaking Gob!

For Me, Stripping Was An Unusual Kind Of Escape. I Had Nothing To Escape But Privilege, But I Claimed Asylum Anyway. At Twenty-four, It Was My Last Chance To Reject Something And Become Nothing. I Wanted To Terrify Myself. Mission Accomplished.

Now '90210' Is Returning With An All-new Cast Of Slightly More Plausible Teens. I'll Be Honest: I Wish The Old Cast Was Back. Ideally, This Spin-off Would Be An Ice Storm-esque Exploration Of The West Beverly Gang's Bleak Adult Lives.

I Write Small And Weird. Romcoms Are Not In My Skill Set.

I Don't Think Coolness Used To Be Such A Commodity Among Adults. And Now It Is.

It's Possible That I've Matured As A Writer, And I Hope I've Matured Emotionally, But I Always Find Myself Revisiting These Adolescent Scenes.