Jeez Banana! Shut Your Freaking Gob!

I've Been Told That I'm Incompetent, Socially Retarded, Maladjusted. I Still Know That I Couldn't Function In Reality. Los Angeles Is A Good Place For Me.

The Public's Appetite For Frothy, Flippant Blondes Has Waned, But Paris Hilton Still Fascinates Me.

I Myself Identify As A Recovering Blockhead. You'd Be Surprised How Many Twenty- And Thirty-something Hipster Chicks Have The Nkotb Skeleton In Their Closet, Albeit Artfully Concealed By Stacks Of Ksubi Skinny Jeans And Ironic Judas Priest T-shirts.

Speaking Of Twitter, I Don't Even Know If I Composed A Blog Entry In 2009, As I Was Too Busy Parceling My Every Thought Into Cute 140-character Sound Bites. I Used To Only Worry About Being Pithy For A Living; Now Some Of My Best Lines Are Wasted On A Free App!

I've Been An Avid Consumer Of Young Adult Literature Since I Was One, And I Think Some People Leave That Stuff Behind When They Become Old Adults, But I Never Did. I Was Always Interested In The Fantasy World Created In Those Novels.