I've Got Stuff About Airline Mergers, Which

When You Compare Christmas To Hanukkah, There's No Comparison. Christmas Is Great. Hanukkah Sucks! First Night You Get Socks. Second Night, An Eraser, A Notebook. It's A Back-to-school Holiday!

Kids Seem To Get Me When I Play Colleges - They Like It Because I Go After Them. They'll Come Up After And Say I Am Like Their Dads, Only Funny.

I Get An Idea About Something. I Just Start Thinking About It, And Then I Get Onstage And I Talk About It, And Then I Think About It Some More And Talk About It Some More, And Think About It Some More And Talk About It Some More, Until It Starts To Take A Shape.

If You're Seeing A Psychiatrist, You're Wasting Money Because All You've Got To Do Is Get On A Plane, Get On A Subway Tomorrow And, Inevitably, You're Going To Be Seated In Front Of Some Guy Who's Playing With Himself, And He'll Be Singing, 'happy Days Are Here Again.' I Tell You - When I See That Guy, I Feel Pretty Good About Myself.

We Have A Two-party System: The Democratic Party, Which Is A Party Of No Ideas, And The Republican Party, Which Is A Party Of Bad Ideas.