I Do Like Guinness, I Have To

Elected Officials Shouldn’t Get To Choose Who Gets To Choose Elected Officials.

We Don't Have Seasons Anymore. You Know Why? We Lost The Ozone Layer. Well, Put It On Milk Cartons - Let's Find It!

Some People Have Religion As A Means Of Solace. But, I Had A Dreidel, So That Was Out.

[the Weather Channel] Is The Most Watched Cable Channel In America. I'll Repeat That. It Is The Most Watched Cable Channel In America. They Were Worried About The Terrorists Immobilizing Us, And A Portion Of Our Countrymen Watch Weather. 'kay, You Don't Get Any More Immobile Than That... Unless You're In A Goddamn Coma. That Means You're Saying, "i'd Go To The Window, But It's Too Far." If You Want To Know What The Weather Is You Go To A Window And Stick Your Hand Out And If You Want To Know What The Temperature Is You Drive By A Bank.

The Droid I Had Actually Seemed To Have Free Will, Which I Thought Was Interesting.