I've Found That My Humor Goes Over

I've Got Another Friend Who Is Half-german And Half-polish. He Hates Jews But Can't Remember Why!

They Call It Football, But The Object Of The Game Is To Bash The Other Guy So Hard That He's Eventually Carried Off The Field On A Stretcher. I Can't Watch Football Anymore. My Psychiatrist Said It's Better That Way. I Used To Watch A Game, See The Players In A Huddle - And Think They Were Talking About Me.

Honesty Is Nothin' Compared To Decency.

On The Murder Of New York Deli Owner Abe Lebewohl: It's Almost Like Wiping Out Carnegie Hall. A Sandwich To A Jew Is Just As Important As A Country To A Gentile.

The Clintons Represent The Highest Level Of Corruption, But No One Has The Courage To Mention It. Instead They Talk About Rudy Giuliani. Over A Lifetime Of Excellent Service, There's Never Been A Hint Of Corruption In His Behavior But Everybody Investigates Him.